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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Advice > Slow Jizz Fizz
Slow Jizz Fizz   by Tristan Taormino

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Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. From college campuses to sex toy boutiques she tours the country touting the wonders of anal sex and the overall goodness of sex in all its frisky forms. In the Anal advisor columns, first published in the Village Voice, Tristan addresses the ifs, ands, and butts of anal sex.

You can visit Tristan at her official website, www.PuckerUp.com.
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Dear Anal Advisor:

A while back, my fiancee and I purchased your book The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. We are hoping to include regular anal sex in our married sex life. As anal sex seems to take more preparation and time than other activities, we are planning to make the time for it and figured we’d shoot for once a week. Once the body is used to this activity, what is the best minimum frequency? Meaning, if we end up having anal sex say only once a month, will the body still be used to it or will we have to "re-train" it? We are open to having anal sex as often as we can to help make it an enjoyable experience always.

Thank you again,
Rick & Kristine

Dear Rick & Kristine:

I applaud you for taking such a positive, healthy, and, most of all, realistic approach to anal sex. The reason that many women experience pain from anal penetration and vow that they’ll never do it again is because men rush the process, don’t work their way up, try to do too much too quickly, and end up hurting their partners. You are correct–anal sex does take time and preparation. The more patience and warm up you do, the better the experience will be for both of you. But I know you must be thinking, "Do we have to go super slow, one little knuckle at a time, every single time?" The answer is yes and no. You always need to start out small, no matter how experienced you are. You cannot go from zero to sixty in five seconds flat. In other words, don’t just stick that big hard cock of yours in her ass. Tease her with your tongue, rub her clit, nibble her neck, open her ass up with your fingers, do whatever it takes to relax and arouse her. When she tells you she is ready for you, begin slowly. The more you have anal sex, the easier and speedier this warm up will be. Your muscles do have memory. As long as you give them positive experiences, it will be easier for those muscles to relax and it will take less time for her ass to open up for your cock. I cannot give you a specific number of times you need to do it to keep in shape; that varies tremendously depending on the people and situations. The more you practice warming up to anal penetration, the more she'll get used to how it feels when she is ready for you, and you will be well versed in all it takes to get her there.


Dear Anal Advisor:

I have a question about ejaculating dildos and butt plugs. I saw a "recipe" for cum that is made up of condensed milk, egg white and sugar. I want to use this in a ejaculating dildo. Is it safe to use this "cum" in my ass? Could this cause any medical problems?

Signed,
Jim

Dear Jim:

Well, Martha Stewart would certainly be proud that you are so enterprising! Ejaculating dildos and butt plugs are lots of fun; they give you the opportunity to experience shooting a hot load up your own ass or the rear of a friend. My first experience with a squirting dong came when I was sucking off a butch girl; she slammed her cock into my mouth, and at the same time squeezed her balls. Suddenly, a burst of fluid shot to the back of my throat, and the surprise alone made me soak the wood floor I was kneeling on!

I’ve heard that different people swear by different formulas for the perfect confection of fake jizz. The most important thing to keep in mind when getting out the measuring cups is that anything you put in your rectum will be automatically absorbed into your blood stream. A shot of sweet faux cum could leave you with a stomach ache. The one that you describe (made of condensed milk, egg white and sugar) creates an impressively life-like texture and aesthetic; if you were going for great visuals–a pop shot on someone’s mouth or tits, for example–that recipe would work well. If, however, your cum shot is meant to be an internal one, I would err on the side of caution and recommend that you simply use warm water. It will still feel quite real, and it is your safest choice healthwise.


Dear Anal Advisor:

My husband and I just experienced anal sex. We were prompted by your article in the April 2000 issue. We have tried this adventure before, but it has always been painful to me. Your advice for him to stimulate other areas helped me relax this time. Also, we found the doggie-style/head down/butt up position comfortable for both of us. We used vegetable oil for our lubricant and it worked perfect. My husband is an anal sex lover, and now I feel I can fulfill his passions and enjoy the experience myself. Thank you so much for such knowledgeable information and guidance in your column. Now, for my question: does an anal orgasm come with experience, and is it more intense than the vaginal orgasm?

Sincerely,
T. D.

Dear T.D.:

It is letters like yours that make my job so fulfilling! When I know that my work has helped someone experience the mind-blowing pleasures of anal sex, I feel that my mission is accomplished. On to your question about anal orgasms. Women experience pleasure from anal sex is a variety of different ways. The anal area is so rich in nerve endings that stimulating such an erogenous zone could certainly bring you to orgasm. Some women like to combine clitoral stimulation with anal penetration. When I work my clit while my ass is being fucked, and I come, the orgasm definitely feels different than if I was just having clit stimulation. It feels stronger, more intense, and like more of a full-body orgasm, rather than one primarily centered between my legs. Although we don’t have a prostate gland like men, women do have a G-spot. The G-spot is reached through the front wall of the vagina, but it can also be indirectly stimulated through anal penetration. If you angle a finger, toy, or penis towards the front wall of the vagina, you may experience G-spot stimulation and come that way.

In addition to the bundle of physical pleasure that anal stimulation brings, there are complex emotional and psychological issues which contribute to the erotic experience. For some people, the idea that anal sex is naughty, forbidden and taboo is very exciting, and adds to their enjoyment of it. For me, the amount of trust I must have in my partner heightens my physical pleasure. Anal sex is my way of saying, "Here is a delicate part of my body, and I trust you not to hurt me but to make me feel very good." That power exchange can be very intense. A world of orgasmic possibilities await you.


Visit Tristan at PuckerUp.com.